


leave me blurry and fall toward me

by poetroe



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: American Sign Language, F/F, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Introspection, Plans For The Future, Post-Battle, Post-Season/Series 03, Sign Language, amaya is REALLY about to haul her ass to lux aurea to go live w janai, janai is really learning sign language for amaya, janaya - Freeform, lesbians in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-27
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:00:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21577987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetroe/pseuds/poetroe
Summary: “She wonders what her place in the new royal household would be. She wonders if she could run away to the army again, like she did when Sarai became queen. And, as she turns her head back to look at Janai, Amaya wonders if she maybe could not go back home, at all.”The morning after the battle, Amaya decides where to go from here.
Relationships: Amaya/Janai (The Dragon Prince)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 493





	leave me blurry and fall toward me

**Author's Note:**

> this is the product of my post s3 janaya feels, a pure self indulgent fic about what i want them to do now (fall in love n live together forever and so on and so forth) canon probably won't agree with me, but i like to dream. title & excerpt are from snow and dirty rain by richard siken. i hope u enjoy reading and pls let me know what u thought !!

close your eyes. a lover is standing too close

to focus on. leave me blurry and fall toward me

with your entire body.

***

As a general, it’s Amaya’s duty to know the full scope of things. She has to keep a level head, observe, and take the battlefield in its entirety into account—a decision will follow.

It does not come as a surprise to her that she can’t stop thinking about the aftermath of this particular battle.

The early morning light illuminates the golden markings that run like tear tracks down Janai’s face, but all Amaya can think about is that she’ll have to go back to the gleaming city of the Sunfire elves, to take the throne her sister left behind. She turns her head, her eyes gliding through the tent. A makeshift sort of barrack. Callum and Ezran are snoring, their glow toad lying in between them, their elf companion sitting against the rugged rock of the Storm Spire and leaning against the bed with her eyes closed. Amaya realizes she doesn’t even know her name.

They’re just kids. And they look about as exhausted as Amaya feels.

Ezran will be the king again, when they get back to Katolis. Three of the human kingdoms are in disarray and Kasef’s demise will no doubt unleash a struggle for succession in Neolandia, but Ezran will be a just king with a kind heart. Amaya knows he will do whatever he can to restore the peace within the Pentarchy, together with the queen of Duren.

She wonders what her place in the new royal household would be. She wonders if she could run away to the army again, like she did when Sarai became queen. And, as she turns her head back to look at Janai, Amaya wonders if she maybe could not go back home, at all.

With a sigh, she gets up and leaves the tent.

The sun hasn’t risen over the mountains in the east yet, but daybreak has descended over Xadia in the form of wan light and a blanket of mist. It’s somehow similar to the smoke that lingered on the battlefield right after the dragons’ charge, though it’s a lot colder and a lot clearer. If anything, Amaya appreciates not having to wash off a layer of soot a second time.

Scorch marks mar the hillside at the foot of the Storm Spire, alongside broken arrows and abandoned swords, Avizandum’s stone eyes overlooking the wreckage. Still, the land is vibrant with magic—a small flock of silver-white lightning birds is making its way across the sky and bright amber salamanders dart through the grass between Amaya’s feet. The tiny feet are barely palpable as one of them walks over her boot.

Amaya breathes in deep, smelling the grass and something carried to her by the breeze, the distinct smell of these magic lands.

Suddenly, there’s a warm hand on her shoulder and Janai steps forward, smiling like sun; tentatively, barely there.

“What is on your mind?” she asks her. Amaya thinks about telling her, but she doesn’t think that Janai knows enough signs to fully understand the whirlpool of worries about the future that are still occupying her mind. Her hand comes up, slow and steady for Janai to follow: fingers forming an O, then opening again as she moves her hand forward in a short motion. Nothing. “Forgive me for not believing you,” Janai answers, crossing her arms.

It’s beautiful, Amaya signs, spelling out the latter word before motioning towards the field that stretches out before them. Janai’s smile softens. Yes, she signs, somewhat shakily.

“I don’t know a lot of words yet,” she says, smiling apologetically. Her hand closes in a fist and rubs over her stomach in a circle. I’m sorry.

It’s okay, Amaya signs back. You’re a fast learner. Janai’s arched eyebrow tells her she might not have understood that entirely, but the expression on her face is adorable and Amaya can’t help but grin wide, grab her by the hand and yank her along, back to the tent. She needs to find Gren.

Fatigue lingers in her limbs still, but Amaya doesn’t feel it as she slaps Gren on his back, where he’s sitting a little distance away from the tent, washing his face over a bucket of fresh water. He doesn’t exactly see her coming, apparent from the way he jumps. I need you to interpret for me, Amaya signs.

Now? Gren signs back. Amaya nods. Janai doesn’t know enough sign language for me to be able to talk to her. Gren rolls his eyes, but the bags under them tell Amaya that he must be exhausted too, so she gives him her best puppy dog eyes. Her flat hand makes a circle over her heart. Please?

Gren sighs, but towels his face dry and stands up, anyway. Thank you, Amaya signs with a soft smile. Then, directed at Janai: I’m sure that with a little help, you’ll be able to sign fluently in no time. Gren transmits the message and Janai’s mouth spreads into a grin.

“Is this an offer to teach me?” she asks.

Only if you need me, Amaya signs. I know you have Kazi.

It could be the sun, finally starting to peek above the far off mountain range, but Janai’s cheeks gain a little redness. “Kazi is only a novice themself. I’m sure I could learn a lot more from you.”

Right, Amaya signs, unable to help how her grin widens. And after slight hesitation: Does this mean I could come with you, to Lux Aurea? I know you have to—another brief pause—get back soon. Janai’s expression softens and she steps closer as she speaks.

“I do.” Any other might have cast down their gaze or changed the topic, but Janai faces the future head on. “I have to take my sister’s throne and lead my country,” she says. “Don’t you have to go back home?” Gren turns to look at her as well, giving her a curious glance, like he doesn’t know what she’s going to do where he’s usually so sure. The truth is, Amaya herself doesn’t know what she should do, or what she wants to do.

The fact that those two diverge is exactly where the problem arises. Her mind tells Amaya that she has duties, not just as an army general, but as aunt to the king and his brother and maybe by extension to Katolis, as well. But her heart… It swells in her chest at the thought of going back to Lux Aurea, a free woman this time, and getting to know this Sunfire elf that surprises and intrigues her to no end. It feels selfish to want that, but after everything they have just been through, isn’t she justified?

Aware of the silence that has fallen, Amaya just lifts the fingers of her hand to her forehead briefly, before turning them outward. I don’t know. Janai’s nod shows she understands before Gren has had the opportunity to translate. Thanks, Amaya signs to Gren, smiling weakly before turning around and walking off.

She stalks past the tent, pitched against the cliffside, walking until she reaches the path that leads up the Storm Spire, and then some. Amaya only stops when she finds a platform that’s slightly broader than the path. She sits down, planting her hands on the jagged stone and letting her feet dangle off the edge.

After a while, a pair of legs clad in burgundy brown boots and golden knee plates that shimmer in the morning sun swing down next to hers. “Hey,” Janai says. Hello, Amaya signs. She drops her hand after, but Janai is fast and grabs it, turning her palm to the sky. The burns aren’t healed yet, but they’ve scabbed over and they don’t hurt anymore.

“If you hadn’t stopped me then, I would not be sitting here,” Janai says. She touches her chin, bringing her hand down with her palm up, like Amaya’s. Thank you.

Amaya smiles, feeling oddly touched. It’s okay, she signs, slowly. I had a sister, too. Janai loosens her grip on her hand, but keeps holding it.

“I would appreciate it if you came with me, to Lux Aurea,” she says. “We didn’t start off on the best terms but…I trust you. And as queen—” Her warm eyes leave Amaya’s and turn to the sun. “I could use a skilled fighter like you, alongside me.” That causes Amaya’s grin to reappear.

You want me to come with you? she signs. Janai smiles, and nods.

“If that’s okay.” Amaya thinks about it, _again_ , trying to forget that she’s been thinking about this all night. The sun warms her face and her hands in Janai’s. Callum had filled her in on what happened to himself and Ezran in the time she was away and Amaya had been both proud and sad in realizing that the timid boy she knew had grown into an independent one, who had traded drawing lines for drawing runes. Ezran, too, had shown a wisdom that seemed beyond his age. And with Opeli, Corvus, even Soren and that Moonshadow elf with them, Amaya has truly begun to believe that they will be okay without her.

That’s not to say she wouldn’t miss them terribly, of course—but her boys are stronger than she’d given them credit for. Her eyes trail over the hillside, now bathed in sunlight, the mist clearing up in the heat. Her hand leaves Janai’s, forming the O, then the K.

It feels like a weight leaves her chest when Janai’s smile stretches into a toothy grin. If anything, Amaya is starting to feel weightless, getting caught up in the warm gold flaking off Janai’s cheeks, the bright gold of the armor curling around her neck, the vivid gold scattered as specks in her eyes. Her eyes fall shut—she almost kisses her, right then and there.

Instead, Amaya holds her breath, then releases it and opens her eyes. She stands up, offering her hand to Janai and squeezing it softly when it’s taken. As they walk back down, hand in hand, the future doesn’t seem so daunting, anymore.


End file.
